that light you love now just won't shine
2017-12-13 9:14 p.m.

thinking about killing yourself seems like this indulgence that you can't entertain but for brief moments. because you know you can't, but you kind of wish you could. it just seems so lovely and wonderful to stop at this point, in mid life. kind of like when you play trivia pursuit, but it just takes too long and nobody is getting all the pie pieces. you just want to walk away and call it done. maybe better people that me don't feel this way.

i'm running out of friends that i can stand. i have one member of my family that i actually see or who knows my address.

i wish i was thin enough to be beautiful in a swimsuit. boats and coastlines are about to make an appearance.

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