too late to beg you or cancel it
2017-07-07 9:52 p.m.

i woke up this morning, and for two seconds, i was really happy it was friday. and then i remembered the signing ceremony today and the 15 minutes i was supposed to talk in front of my LARGEST audience as a professional, professional. i'm also really stoned and typing this with one eye closed. did i misspell friday? it looks hollow. i still am a comma nazi. i should be reamed up the ass for that.

it went ok. you know you came across as laymen in the room when a million people tell you that you did such a great job. its so insulting.

it sucks when real people stop being real. and just dissipate. its my life. am i a crazy fuck? like super female crazy? i remember reading one of kurt vonnegut's adopted son's autobiography. he was schizophrenic, and he said that even though you recognized yourself as going crazy, it didn't stop the crazy things from happening.

i'm done writing this. night eye rub.

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