"resolved to real things happening to me."
2003-06-30 6:56 p.m.

my head hurts even though i haven't been listening to any death metal. or any meatloaf. sometimes i kind of like meatloaf. because he would do anything for love, but he won't do that. unlike myself and many others, the man has dignity.

i spent most of last night puking during the commercial breaks of the "its good to be.... britney spears" program on E!. what makes that girl so hot despite her not exactly perfectly put together face? there is something so frustratingggg about her face... i feel if i could just adjust or torque it a bit, it would be beautiful. as it is, she's stuck with a level of prettiness i'll never encounter in a mirror or a lake or an unscratched cd bottom, regardless of any pricey plastic surgeries in my future.

i'm basically pissing on myself because i didn't finish the ride. not only did i not finish it - i got pulled at only 14 miles. my horse (who is arthritic) trotted out with a couple lame steps... and me, playing the ever so polite non-demanding rider, accepted the vet's call. when the truth is that two seconds later he trotted out sound as always.

came home to call the vet who said "there isn't much i can do for you if your horse is perfectly sound." smart vet. he said he'd bring by more adequan so that i can stab my horse in the butt with it some more. sadly, he also questioned why we didn't ask to trot him out a second time. to which i replied "um" and looked at my feet. an embarrassing embarrassment of a gesture that, due to the unpopularity of video phones, the vet did not see.

i spent most of saturday crying and sunburning and crewing for my mother. duncan had tripped early on which resulted in him skidding downhill on his knees and head for a good 15 ft. he managed to scrape the skin off his knees and off a good portion of his forehead, but he completed. and surprisingly, he wasn't the only warmblood there... for some reason, chelsea sibley was at this ride... the chelsea sibley who i hate because she rides like a chair with robotic arms and yet feels like she's worth 80 dollars an hour, and so charges that. the chelsea sibley who i hate because she seems to live the life i always wanted to lead... and yet, she still manages to drop her dumpy behind into my teeny tiny part of the equine world as well. the chelsea sibley who i hate and don't even know.

i can be terrifically catty, as all good horsewomen should be.

i wish i could be surgically removed from my head until it repairs itself.

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