"hold the earth in place"
2003-07-08 11:05 p.m.

night riding makes you seasick. the bobbing of your horse's neck and the uncertainty of your weight placement combine to nauseate you in otherwise beautiful circumstances. and so you attempt focusing and refocusing your sight in a variety of ways, but nothing really helps. because its dark as fuck, and focusing is simply the means to a migraine.

i qualified on saturday. with the morgan. whose owner is so despicable that i do not want to mention more. the ride was actually a preride for the championships, and the completion rate was little more than 50%. the heat was measured at 106 (which i find difficult to believe). the winds were warm and dry and sand filled. i had dirt in my underwear at the finish. i had forgotten my sunscreen at the start. and so i became one of four red flags with heat stroke. an EMT roper (evident from his lost right pinky finger) took it upon himself to hydrate me and press on my fingernails and pester me about eating. my skin is falling off today.

in preparation for the tevis, i rode in the dark last night. the half moon provided a good amount of light, as long we stayed on the lit mountain side in the clear. however, the portion of trail we rode is mostly shaded by oaks and pines and other brush. i held onto mane and let the horse go. it actually somewhat comforting when its too dark out to see the canyon dropoffs, hundreds of feet deep.

every once in awhile, we left the moon behind as we rode into a gulch or ravine and back out again. it is no exaggeration to say these places are the darkest i've ever been in. i could not see my horse's neck, or even my hand in front of my face. i couldn't even make out different shades of black. everything was simply black black. like your HEART or my thoughts. at one point, my horse stumbled and scrambled and scared us to death. the rider behind us was treated to a display of sparks as my horse's shoes repeatedly struck rock.

my father, who is a super shooting super shooter, is loaning me a super night vision flashlight. it shines a reddish light which, supposedly, helps a person (or in this case, the horse) to keep his eyes adjusted to darkness, while providing light if you need it. i think it is for pistol shooting at night and costs like 70 bucks. it looks all james bond and like it could self destruct.

we finished the ride, and the horse's splashing in the water trough made the reflection of the moon ripple. my horse would yawn and yawn, and finally i got the great idea to shine a flashlight into his mouth, for no good reason at all other than to see well into it. i had to bang it a couple times in order to alert the batteries. when the beam of light finally shown, it revealed a horse's nose and mouth, covered in and dripping blood.

i let out a weak scream. the kids who were staying past hours at the skate park near by echoed me.

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