is this how its supposed to work?
2017-05-30 6:17 p.m.

a anxiety riddled day. too much work (finally). it is me and in my element. and josh comes to me to tell me he has gotten approval to hire somebody to help me and for me to supervise and this makes me want to quit. i don't want to supervise anybody ever and i am fine doing the work alone. just because hard work is foreign to these people doesn't mean that i need an assistant. i don't know how you supervise people when you have serious trust issues. i'm gonna be the biggest pain in the ass.

if i were to engage in truth or dare tonight, the truth would be to tell me the shittiest thing you have ever done. the shittiest thing i have done... there are so many. i can't tell the worst. the almost worst, though, maybe. i sat on jim's lap at a dr. dog show and did so happily when i was with ben. or while ben was out smoking. i doubt it mattered because he was beyond caring. i lie to get out of shit. maybe that's the worst because its so indiscriminate. i also have taken to pretending i can't hear homeless people sometimes when they ask for change.

the dare would be.... to dare my competitor to fall in love with me. perhaps also the shittiest thing i could do. but the dare itself? it is a challenge like no other. and if i don't win this game, its rigged.

edited to add: i can't stand narratives. bless me with some other ability, i beg you.

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